The Friend Not There

First Post of the Day

There was one friend who was not at Curt's surprise birthday party.

Ian. 

One of Curt's very best-of-the-best friends. They met in kindergarten and their friendship was strong forever after that. Cowpoke Ian is named after him.

I was holding newborn Ian in the hospital when I asked Curt what his name was. He looked me straight in the eyes and replied, "Ian." 

I cried all the way home from the hospital.

Tragically, Ian had passed away shortly after Curt returned home from Brasil. We were all devastated by the news.

Ian and Curt, hair growing out after the Urbana High School Swim Team Conference meet, speaking at the end of the season swim team banquet. (There was some reason they were dressed in their fathers' suits, but I forget why now. A skit, maybe?)

One of the most beautiful visitations and funerals I've ever attended was Ian's. As Ian's mother called them, there was a "band of brothers" there the whole time, surrounding her and Ian's father throughout and caring for them - making sure they had water, a chair to sit on, tissues, and more. 

That band of brothers were Ian's friends, boys who were very close friends with a history of many, many years of friendship, and they stuck by Ian and his family to the very end. His parents, in fact, all of us, were so touched and moved by the boys' caring and support. They, too, were grieving yet they still reached out and watched over their friend's parents despite their own sadness.

Curt and Vanessa with Big Ian's parents in 2014. They had taken Baby Ian over to Illinois so that they could meet their son's namesake. It was a very moving afternoon.

For several years we referred to Curt's Ian as "Little Ian" to distinguish which Ian we meant. But as time passed, he became simply "Ian" to us all.

It's been almost 20 years since Big Ian passed, but he is still remembered. And he was much missed at that birthday party.

I have another blog post coming. I also have Nash and Mama coming for the day, so fingers crossed that I finish it before they arrive!

Stay 'tooned!