Jennifer Buxton recently wrote a very poignant blog post titled, A Message to My Younger Self. In it, she traced her life as a horse lover/horsewoman and her struggles in keeping horses in her life despite all the things that life can throw at us. It's a really good read especially if you are yearning to have a horse in your life.
While our journeys have been different, our goal was the same. Jennifer and I both loved horses and we wanted to share our lives with them. This is the story of how I found a way to afford a horse while mothering six kids and being a stay at home mama.
When Craig and I got married, we both wanted a large family, and having one of us stay home with them was important to us both. Knowing that that would mean a lot of budgeting and doing without, we started our life together.
Sarah was born a year after we married, and then Jessica two years after that. We lived on a very tight budget with Craig as the sole income source as we continued to welcome our children into our home. Kyle was born 19 months after Jessica with Lisa arriving 17 months after him.
We had absolutely no extra money and had to watch every single penny. Looking back, I do not know how we made it as our budgets never, ever worked out on paper. But somehow we muddled through.
Amy, my much loved first horse, lived with my sister Leslie back in Indiana, so I technically was still a horse owner during that time. Leslie never charged me a penny for her care and rode her in exchange for board. Kind of a lease/board exchange as it were. But Amy was two hours away and I did not have the time or the gas money to go visit her.
As our family continued to grow, Craig began looking for a second income, one that would let me remain at home and yet still be enough to help support our growing family. Unbelievably, a job fell into our laps via a friend and Craig and I took over his job of filling vending machines with newspapers. One of us got up every morning at 4:00 (the other stayed home with the kids), drove out to the pick up point and loaded the car with the day's newspapers, and then drove a route of 30 some vending machines around town, removing the previous day's unsold papers and filling the machines with new ones.
It was incredibly lucrative, so much so that after a year, we had enough and to spare. Enough that I was able to afford owning and boarding a horse without sacrificing elsewhere in the budget.
Me with Indy, probably 1983.
It was so good to have a horse again, one that was near me. The whole family enjoyed having him as he was very gentle and sweet. (He was such a sweet boy that the Champaign Park District borrowed him as a therapy horse one summer.)
Kyle riding Indy with Craig walking alongside.
Indy with Jessica, Sarah, and Maria hitching a ride.
Curt was born and his pregnancy and birth slowed me down for a while. Then, three years later, I became pregnant with Cole. At that point, I decided to sell Indy. It had gotten harder and harder to make time to visit Indy - the older kids had a lot of activities and sports to go to plus I was tired and barn visits were mostly "hello," some hand grazing, and grooming. I did not have the time for Indy and he deserved better.
I trailered him over to Lafayette where a long time friend took him for me. It was hard to sell him, but it was the right thing to do.
So, what is my point in writing this blog post? To share hope and encouragement that even if owning a horse seems to be an insurmountable challenge, it isn't necessarily so. To encourage looking for options or being creative as Jennifer was when she looked for horsey opportunities. (There are some really good ideas in her blog post.)
Getting up very early to deliver those newspapers to their vending boxes, driving (and hopping in and out of the car) in all kinds of weather conditions, and lifting and carrying heavy bundles of newspapers was hard. VERY hard at times, but being able to have Indy was worth all the missed sleep, ink covered hands, and sore muscles.
If you are yearning for a horse, I hope you find your own opportunity to make it happen. And if you don't find it right away, don't give up. I've done both - the waiting and the finding of opportunities. (A bonus of waiting is that that can make it all the sweeter when you finally do get your horse.)
Good luck to you. I'm pulling for you and hoping that your dream to have a horse comes true.