Jennifer Buxton and I have been friends for a long time. We share a love of horses, we are writers with blogs that span several decades, we have children and husbands who make frequent appearances in our blogs, and our dogs are considered family.
A sadder commonality is that we both lost our heart horses last year, six months apart to the very day. We've now both trudged through that experience and understand the terrible sadness and grief that accompanies it.
In a private conversation after Abby died, Jennifer shared something with me that helped lift my grief and I will always be grateful to her for that. She gets what I am going through and vice versa - who better to make an understanding comment than someone who is walking the same walk?
Last Sunday Jennifer got a new horse, Winslow. He's temporary, but he seems to be a real sweetie and is helping lift her heart as she moves forward. Sunday afternoon she sent me a picture of the two of them together and I said something about a win-win situation. Jennifer then quipped, "Win Win Winslow."
Win Win Winslow indeed! Isn't he a pretty boy! And Jennifer looks so happy.
I'm not yet at the point of getting another horse. A large part of that is due to health issues, but another part is that I have not been able to even think about Abby without crying. I can't even go to the barn without the tears starting to slide down my cheeks.
But yesterday I had a glimmer of hope that that might be changing.
On a whim, I decided to drop by the barn while I was running an errand.
I didn't have a brush or a peppermint with me - my buckets of grooming tools and treats are no longer in my trunk but are sitting in my garage gathering dust. But I decided to go anyway.
As I pulled up, I saw Tim's car was there and I found him in the barn. He was getting ready to work with Easy and invited me to stay and watch.
Tacking up.
Working on flexibility. I was impressed with how far Easy had come in his training.
Isn't he a pretty boy? He's four and had been running free on a Texas ranch most of his life. It is clear that he trusts Tim.
Warming Easy up after some flexibility exercises.
And we ride!
It is fun to see Easy coming into himself. His personality is beginning to emerge and while he is inexperienced and a bit hesitant, he is willing to learn. (He's walking over a buried tarp in this photo.)
Tim has other things in the indoor arena such as a pole to step over and some barrels. (No clue about the basketball except that this is Indiana where every barn has a basketball hoop on its side.)
I was so happy to be there that it was only when Tim finished Easy's training session that I realized I was chilled to the bone. And as that realization sank in, another one popped into my mind.
I had not cried once the entire time I was at the barn.
I had not looked around, wishing Abby was standing at the fence and doing her soft whicker that she saved just for me.
My thoughts had been happy - I was with horses, talking horses with Tim, smelling that wonderful scent of horses and barns in the winter...
I had not cried or mourned my girl once!
And then, when I drove home, I had that long lost but oh so familiar feeling of happiness and contentment that I have always felt after time with horses. There was no crying on the way home, either!
