Jennifer Buxton and I have been friends for a long time. We share a love of horses, we are writers with blogs that span several decades, we have children and husbands who make frequent appearances in our blogs, and our dogs are considered family.
A sadder commonality is that we both lost our heart horses last year, six months apart to the very day. We've now both trudged through that experience and understand the terrible sadness and grief that accompanies it.
In a private conversation after Abby died, Jennifer shared something with me that helped lift my grief and I will always be grateful to her for that. She gets what I am going through and vice versa - who better to make an understanding comment than someone who is walking the same walk?
Last Sunday Jennifer got a new horse, Winslow. He's temporary, but he seems to be a real sweetie and is helping lift her heart as she moves forward. Sunday afternoon she sent me a picture of the two of them together and I said something about a win-win situation. Jennifer then quipped, "Win Win Winslow."
Win Win Winslow indeed! Isn't he a pretty boy! And Jennifer looks so happy.
I'm not yet at the point of getting another horse. A large part of that is due to health issues, but another part is that I have not been able to even think about Abby without crying. I can't even go to the barn without the tears starting to slide down my cheeks.
But yesterday I had a glimmer of hope that that might be changing.
On a whim, I decided to drop by the barn while I was running an errand.
I didn't have a brush or a peppermint with me - my buckets of grooming tools and treats are no longer in my trunk but are sitting in my garage gathering dust. But I decided to go anyway.
As I pulled up, I saw Tim's car was there and I found him in the barn. He was getting ready to work with Easy and invited me to stay and watch.
Tacking up.
Working on flexibility. I was impressed with how far Easy had come in his training.
Isn't he a pretty boy? He's four and had been running free on a Texas ranch most of his life. It is clear that he trusts Tim.
Warming Easy up after some flexibility exercises.
And we ride!
It is fun to see Easy coming into himself. His personality is beginning to emerge and while he is inexperienced and a bit hesitant, he is willing to learn. (He's walking over a buried tarp in this photo.)
Tim has other things in the indoor arena such as a pole to step over and some barrels. (No clue about the basketball except that this is Indiana where every barn has a basketball hoop on its side.)
I was so happy to be there that it was only when Tim finished Easy's training session that I realized I was chilled to the bone. And as that realization sank in, another one popped into my mind.
I had not cried once the entire time I was at the barn.
I had not looked around, wishing Abby was standing at the fence and doing her soft whicker that she saved just for me.
My thoughts had been happy - I was with horses, talking horses with Tim, smelling that wonderful scent of horses and barns in the winter...
I had not cried or mourned my girl once!
And then, when I drove home, I had that long lost but oh so familiar feeling of happiness and contentment that I have always felt after time with horses. There was no crying on the way home, either!
Our son, Curt, called Saturday mid morning just as I was preparing to leave for the barn. He asked if he could drop by as he had something he wanted me to have. I'm so glad he caught me!
Mother's Day flowers! Hand delivered by these cuties.
Since I was headed out to the barn already, I invited them to come with me. Pony Pal Mila reminded me that horses and unicorns were her favorite animals and showed me the unicorn she had with her in the car.
The herd was way out in the far corner of the field, and came thundering up when they heard me whistle.
That made Lukie, Ian, and Mila feel a little scared and hesitant about handing out the carrots.
Even Mila, who is usually right up at the fence, hung back and needed me to help her feed Abby a carrot.
Yes, I do kiss horses.
We stayed and visited with the horses for a while, and then walked over to the new barn to look at Tim's collection of carriages, wagons, and vehicles that are housed in it.
Ian and Mila were fascinated by the "reindeer" antlers and skulls that Tim has collected and hung on one of the rafters.
"The jail wagon! It's the jail wagon!" This one is always their favorite. They love looking inside at the jail cell.
It is a very unusual vehicle, probably the most unusual one in Tim's collection. (Although the mail delivery wagon is pretty different, too.)
Not only does Tim have a sleigh in his vehicle collection and "reindeer" antlers hanging overhead, Ian discovered some sleigh bells in a carriage. He is now convinced that Santa is storing his sleigh and bells at Tim's until next Christmas. (I didn't ask what he made of the skulls and antlers!)
Pretending to drive the farm tractor.
Pony Pal Mila thought that the indoor arena was one large sandbox, and she enjoyed playing in it...
... while her brother kicked the horse ball around the arena and chased after it for quite some time. (How he could run for so long in that soft footing is beyond me!)
Lukie enjoyed going into the tackroom and getting to sit in Tim's pony saddle. He tried to rock in it like he does his wooden rocking horse!
Not only does Tim collect antique horse drawn vehicles, he buys antique tack, too. Ian tried out a vintage 1930s/1940s western saddle.
We finished up before lunch, and despite the earliness of the day, all three kids needed to be popped into a bathtub. But that's barn life for you, and an extra bath for the day was certainly worth it for the fun that we had.
A sunny day yesterday, with temperatures in the mid 60s. That meant that I could get out to the barn for a visit. (Today? Back to winter. 3.5 inches of blowing and drifting snow over a layer of sleet and freezing rain. Snow day for me. Again.)
But when I pulled up to the old barn, there were no whickers of greeting nor any horses to be seen. I checked the west pasture, but the herd was not there, either.
So, I got in my car and drove to the south side of the property and the new barn/indoor arena. Those pastures were empty, too. Had Tim put everyone inside the new barn for some reason? I went inside and checked the arena, but still no sign of the horses.
But, I could now hear them, that sound of snorting, munching, and interacting that horses do with each other.
Tim had put them in the little-used paddock behind the new barn. I called Abby's name, and she (along with Diablo, Hokey, Dolly, and Trouble) came ambling around the barn. (Abby broke into a trot when she saw me.)
May I please have a candy cane or some carrots?
(I think she looks like a teddy bear in this picture, she' so soft and fluffy looking!)
