I Can Still Hit It

 My kids remember when I used to sing. A LOT. I took voice lessons, sang in a Madrigals group with a talented group of musicians from the University of Illinois, and performed in several operas. Every week I had something musical going on; it was heavenly!  And the eight musicians I worked with were top notch - I learned so much from them, and loved being immersed in music. (I even did my minor at the University of Illinois in music, thinking I might get my Masters in Vocal Performance.)

My biggest musical thrill and honor came when Charis Duke composed the Christmas opera The Innkeeper's Wife for our group and wrote the role of Mary for my voice.  All my kids have musical talent (although most, like me, have let it lapse) and Jessica had a supporting role as the lead daughter in the family, while Cole performed as the youngest child in the Inkeeper's family. To actually have a role written for me by a professional musician... I still get excited just thinking about it.

But now, I rarely sing any more. My voice is woefully out of shape, and I am embarrassed at how it sounds. Even at Church, the only time I get the opportunity to sing, I hold back. At times I wish I had kept my voice in shape, but I simply don't have the time to do so.

Friday night, Sarah sat down at the piano and began playing Christmas hymns. One thing led to another, and I went upstairs, grabbed my file stuffed full of music I'd performed, and brought it down for her to play. Jesu Bambino, O Holy Night, and others I had sung so many years ago were dragged out, and she played while I made the first real effort to sing since we moved here.

For a while, I sounded really, really bad. I have little control now and my breathing is shaky. But after a few pieces, I sort of "found" my old voice; it was like everything slipped into place - I could control my breathing, there was strength to the sound, and the tone quality sounded more like it used to (and like music instead of screeching or keening!) I relaxed and simply sang along as Sarah played those beautiful, sacred Christmas songs.

Suddenly, I realized that the song I was singing was climbing the scale. Did I still have an F? (Yes!) Oh, my.. a G was coming. Could I hit it? (I did!) And then, there it was, a high B flat. I took a breath, continued singing the lyrics that led up to it, and...

I hit it! I can still hit a high B flat!!

Now, that just made my evening. And it got me thinking. Maybe I could do some singing again.

And then reality hit me - those hours and hours I used to spend practicing, driving with rehearsal tapes going so I could learn roles in the car, meeting my voice coach on campus for lessons, evening rehearsals... That isn't going to happen now.

Still, it's nice to dream, and it's even nicer to know that perhaps I haven't totally lost my voice. Friday night proved that.

Maybe someday. :)