Abby's Loss: Visiting the Gravesite

Second Post of the Day

My family and friends have been reaching out to me and it has been a comfort. Mountain Mama Jessica wrote these words that made my heart melt:

Mom, I can't even tell you how deeply sorry I am for Abby's loss. She brought you so much joy and in turn brought us joy to know you had a horse again - a horse after you had to sacrifice so much for our family. I am just crying here and wish I were there to give you a big squeeze. I love you so much. xoxy

Thanks, Jessica. Love you too and xoxy right back to you!

On Saturday after I discovered that the horses had died and called Tim to alert him, Lisa came out to the barn to be with me while Tim and I made arrangements. But, I had just left for home so she paid her respects to Abby and Two Socks and then picked up lunch for me. (She was right - I had not had lunch and it was mid afternoon.) Lisa hung around with Craig and me for most of the afternoon and then Sunday morning she stopped by with a big bouquet of flowers that were from all our kids. 

Monday morning Curt texted and asked if he and the kids could come over and visit. They brought lunch for all of us and each of the kids gave me a long hug and said how sorry they were about Abby.

Mila also made a beautiful card that she read aloud to me.

The Pony Pals and Curt wanted to go out to the barn with me after lunch. I was already planning on going since I wanted to check on Hokey. (Tim had to go out of town so I am taking care of Hokey while he is gone.)

I also wanted to see the graves and leave some flowers. The bouquet from my kids was so large that I'd had to split it into two vases

and I knew my kids would not mind if I put some of their flowers on the horses' graves. So everyone chose several selections and we headed to the barn. (Ian chose a large red rose for Abby and a smaller one for Two Socks.)

We first stopped to check on Hokey. He is doing better but as always, he was glad to see us. Bonus points to me for bringing the kids to visit him - he knows that when the Pony Pals are with me, that means he will get extra treats.

The grave site is in the northwest pasture which is bordered by a woods. It is a beautiful spot.

Abby's final resting place.

Two Socks' grave. Those carrots the kids placed on her grave brought tears to my eyes.

Tim placed this halter on a rock between the two graves. The perfect sentiment for him and for me.

Flowers for my sweet Abby. 

As we were preparing to head back up to the old barn, I noticed this:

A golf tee? I understood leaving a carrot, but why a golf tee?

Turned out Ian wanted to leave a final gift to honor the horses but all he had was the golf tee that was in his pocket. So he had quietly set it there without telling his dad or me. It was Curt who spotted it and asked the kids about it. (Mila was responsible for the carrot.)

That little golf tee offering was so sweet and touching, it makes me cry to even write about it.

Hokey followed us as we walked back to the cars. I was glad to see him acting more like himself and that he was no longer taking refuge in the old barn but was cropping grass, interested in treats and pets, and calm. He did call twice for his herdmates while we were there, but he was not agitated, not pacing or running around, sweating, or showing any outward signs of distress.

I love this photo of Cowpoke Lukie watching Hokey drink. Lukie was very disappointed that there were no tadpoles in the trough that we needed to remove like there were a few years ago.

I made sure that Hokey was eating and drinking, other good signs that he was recovering from the shock of the lightning strike and the loss of Abby and Two Socks.

And then we went home. I didn't get much done the rest of the day, but I am determined to be a bit more productive today. I need to check Hokey at least once, and I have a fairly long to-do list. 

Things are still far from normal yet, but healing has begun and I am getting my feet back under me. I will share more tomorrow.

Stay 'tooned.

Siblings Day Isenbarger Style

Siblings Day was this past week, and my social media feed began filling up with pictures that my kids posted of themselves together. It made me a bit teary, but it was also interesting to see which photos they selected to share.

Here are some of them. (I'm grabbing the tissue box as I get started.)

Urbana, Illinois, 1991. Kyle, Sarah, Curt (doesn't he look like Lukie?), Jessica (holding a box turtle), and Lisa with Cole in her lap. They had found that turtle wandering our back yard and after keeping him for a few days in an outdoor enclosure, we drove out to a woods and released him.

Jessica and Andrew's wedding, Draper, Utah, February, 2012. Sarah, Craig, Kyle, Lisa, me, Cole, Curt, and the bride and groom in the middle.

Urbana, Illinois, 1992. "We gotcha, Dad!" Lisa, Kyle, Jessica, Cole, Curt, and Sarah with Craig. 

Probably my favorite picture of my children ever. This was taken by Emily in 2006 here in Indiana just after we'd moved in to our current home. No other homes were around us then. It was snowing enormous snowflakes and so naturally the kids headed out (sans coats) to take a photo. They're in age order, left to right. Sarah, Jessica, Kyle, Lisa, Curt, and Cole. This picture is framed and hangs in my bedroom.

1991, Urbana, Illinois. The whale! A community treasure in Urbana, the whale resided in the mall for several years. Because kids kept climbing on it and then falling off onto the hard terrazzo floors and getting hurt, it was moved to Crystal Lake Pool a few blocks from the mall. Lots of rubber mats were placed around it so the kids could climb it and not get (too) hurt if they slipped off. Lisa, Cole, Kyle, Curt (looking like Lukie again), and Jessica. (Sarah was at another activity.)

2008, Purdue Memorial Union, West Lafayette, Indiana. A family photo session ("Everybody wear grey and teal!") gone crazy. Cole, Curt, Lisa, Jessica, Sarah, and Kyle.

1989, Urbana, Illinois. We were tight on money (I was a stay at home mom then) but when Sears, Olan Mills, or JC Penney offered a special on family group shots, we took advantage of it.  Craig, me (I made that dress), and from the back, Sarah, Kyle, Jessica, Lisa, Curt, and Cole.

August, 2010, Chicago, Illinois. Curt and Vanessa's wedding. Typical Isenbarger shenanigans afterward. Ever since he was little, Curt has made this pose where he bent a knee forward and then stretched his other leg back behind himself. Why? No idea. Here his siblings are honoring him by posing with him. Kyle, Sarah, Curt, Cole, Lisa, and Jessica.

During the eclipse, Pony Pal Susie was caught on film imitating her Uncle Curt's pose - her parents, aunts, and uncles thought this photo was hilarious. (So did her Boompa and Grammy!)

June, 2018, West Lafayette, Indiana. My retirement celebration. Everyone came home to celebrate with me. Curt, Lisa, Kyle, Craig, me, Jessica, Cole, and Sarah.

Is it any wonder that sometimes I really miss the days when I was a stay at home mom and had all my children around?

Truly I am blessed. And, I need more tissues.